Well, it’s been a little over a year since the last time I made weed firecrackers, and last night I thought I would try again.
Except that the last time was quite a trip, and I sort of wanted to avoid that kind of drama, as I just wanted the effects and not the excitement. So I used some AVB instead of fresh ground bud, in the hope that it would be less intense.
AVB is short for Already Vaped Bud, and it signifies cannabis that has already been used in a vaporizer (some people call it ABV for Already Been Vaped). You’ve already gotten high from it, or gotten medicinal benefits, but this little baking experiment proves that there’s still plenty more active ingredients in there to help you.
Not only are you recycling your medical marijuana (and thereby saving the planet, or at least some of your money), but you’re doing it discreetly. If you wrap and bake them properly, firecrackers create very little of the characteristic smell of marijuana. And eating them looks just like eating any other home-baked treat. Emphasis on the words home and baked…you’ll want to stay home after getting this baked!
If you’ve never tried to make edibles, this is a great way to start because it’s quick, easy, doesn’t smell, uses very little material, and is pretty much foolproof unless you got your marijuana from some ripoff street dealer who sold you oregano, in which case it won’t work, but it will taste odd as hell.
So, here, step by step, is how to make…
Old Hippie’s Nutella Weed Firecrackers
Gather the ingredients. That is to say, a graham cracker, some Nutella, and some of your favorite weed. All you need is one regular teaspoonful of ground cannabis. You can use fresh bud or some slightly used AVB…whatever you have around. You can even use peanut or soy butter instead of Nutella (I just never have done that myself).
What’s that question? You there, in the second row…”Will better weed work better?” What is this, a comedy club? What do you think, Einstein? (Grumble, grumble)
The picture shows a single, unbroken 2½” x 5″ graham cracker as baked by Nabisco Honey Maid, the official purveyors of these tasty all-purpose munchies. As you use them to cook your marijuana, you can have a good laugh at the fact that they were originally created to make people more moral, churchgoing, and less likely to masturbate.
Now break your cracker in half so now you have two approximately squarish crackers, and lovingly coat them with Nutella. Use a flat knife, not your fingers. And don’t lick the knife, especially if you’re already high.
Now take a teaspoonful of your chosen weed, and sprinkle it over both cracker halves. A teaspoon is the small one. Don’t use a soup spoon. Or a tablespoon.
That’s right, this tiny bit of weed is all you need, because THC is soluble in fat and Nutella has gobs of it. When you’re done, it should look like this:
So now, you have two weed-coated cracker halves. Whattayou think is next, Bunky?
Bada-bing! Boom, bam, pow, paisano! OK, I’m so high I went back to Brooklyn.
So now you just wrap them it up in aluminum foil and pop it in a preheated 250°F oven for 22 minutes. Don’t agonize too much over the temperature; that’s a safe setting that takes into account the wild temperature swings of most ovens but is high enough to work. It also sets a nice balance between decarboxylating the cannabis and not drying out the Nutella, and heating the Nutella enough to mix it with the components of the weed that are just starting to vaporize, but not driving off the THC. And wrapping the whole thing in aluminum foil is actually part of the equation. It also tends to keep the smell inside where it belongs, but if you’re worried about that, make a bag of microwave popcorn at the same time and the mixed smell will confuse anyone except maybe a drug dog or an experienced MMJ patient.
When it’s done, unwrap your little package. But don’t eat it yet, until you hear the rest of the story.
As I said when I started, last night I made one of these. But even though it had been made from AVB, rather than fresh bud, and even though I used way less weed than some recipes, I remembered the very advice I often give here about always trying new edibles carefully, and just ate half of the firecracker. To be safe(r).
And about an hour later, I blasted off to somewhere very close to  on the all-purpose consciousness scale. I was basically lying in bed listening to my favorite 60s music and grinning like an idiot under the covers because I could watch the bands playing in my head, just as if it was filmed yesterday with flying stabilized digital HD cameras (in my head). But that’s literally all I could do, having already tried sitting up in a chair.
So tonight, just to see if I knew what I was talking about to my own satisfaction, I decided to try half of the piece that was left (in other words, just 1/4 of the original firecracker).
Well, hot dang, I’m purty proud right meow, because I’m cruising at just a bit over . I wouldn’t drive, but I’m very comfortable and even writing in silly accents like Brooklyn and Cat Cowboy. That’s just about half of last night, and that’s why I love edibles and capsules. If you do them right, they’re predictable and repeatable.
So remember, folks, one of these crackers makes 4 doses. Play it safe and don’t take too much. But if you do, remember…be calm, it literally can’t kill you, just try to go to sleep.
One more thing: if you have any left over, keep them wrapped in the refrigerator for best results. Generally, edibles will go bad (as all food does eventually) way before they lose potency in terms of cannabis effects. So you can keep unused firecrackers for weeks this way.