Well, it’s Friday, so I’ve survived yet another of Uncle Buck’s cooking classes, which are held on occasional Thursdays at Magnolia Wellness. This time, it didn’t involve cooking so much as waiting…waiting for the homemade ice cream to freeze!
Sure, you can just drop some cannabis tincture on a cup or cone of ice cream, but that will taste kind of nasty. Uncle Buck is all about good quality food as well as medicine, and he knew that the only way to make it taste good was to infuse the milk and cream and make the ice cream from scratch. And he made it with an ounce of cannabis, mint extract, and threw on some chopped-up Kiva chocolate bars, so he called this particular batch One-Zip Mint Chip!
So for most of the class, we waited with antici…pation for the stuff to freeze, since Uncle Buck was making it right in front of us with an electric stirrer in a tub full of rock salt and ice. This was very educational, because we had lots of intellectual discussions, and got to see Uncle Buck in a slightly over-medicated state himself (by the time we left, he had arranged for someone else to drive him home).
I generally can’t stand anything with mint in it, but this stuff tasted pretty amazing (I’d still like to try it without the mint, hint hint). You could taste the cannabis, but it didn’t taste weedy, just good and green. I can’t explain it better than that.
Do The Math
I was due to run some errands after class, so I dutifully went off to the shopping center. This was a mistake, since I had failed to do some simple math. There were about 14 people in class, so each of us had about 2 grams’ worth of dosage…yikes!
First thing I found out is that infused ice cream does not take an hour to take effect like with most edibles. More like half an hour. So there I was, gliding around Lowes about 4 inches off the ground. Then I barely avoided buying everything that looked tasty in Trader Joes, which was even harder than it sounds.
So I called my wife and told her I’d be late coming back from my adventure, and decided to stay completely away from my car and walked over to Chipotle, where I ate half of an amazing burrito bowl. Came back and it was still pretty hot outside (around 100 degrees), so I carefully moved my car into the middle of a huge parking lot and opened all the windows to cool it off in whatever breezes were around. Then I started listening to Jefferson Airplane on my iPod, because I was still getting higher in spite of eating.
It was still hot, so I walked around my car a few times. By now, the sun had started to go down, so it was like being in a music video filmed at dusk by someone who likes those rotating Steadicam shots. I kept alternating between sitting down because I was feeling dizzy and walking around (OK, standing and leaning against the car so I wouldn’t fall down). I had to keep reminding myself that it actually was hot outside and I wasn’t overheating due to some medical problem or other. Even so, at one point I was about 10 seconds away from calling 911, just because it had all happened so fast.
At this point, I finally decided to call my wife and ask her to pick me up. This took a huge load off my mind, and now I could concentrate on getting through what had rapidly become an unexpected voyage to Level [14.5], although only briefly at that altitude.
By the time my wife and son finally showed up, I was having severe time dilation. So on the drive home, I was treated to what seemed like a 100+ mph 3D Star Wars amusement ride through miles and miles of roller-coaster-like hills and screaming curves. The last part was just like the little tram inside Gringott’s that we saw in the final Harry Potter movie earlier this week. If you’ve seen that, you ought to have a good idea of how freaking high I was.
So I eventually went to sleep and today I feel a lot better as usual. But I’m concerned about just one thing…
What must have happened to those people who went back for seconds?!?!?!?!?