How To Make Old Hippie’s AVB Pot Pizza

I am very gratified that so many people love and appreciate my cannabis cooking recipes ( How To Blast Off with Nutella Firecrackers is currently closing in on There’s No Such Thing As Marijuana for the top all-time article here). But I figure that almost everything can be improved, so that’s why I came up with this impossibly cool recipe for Pot Pizza. What so great about it?

  • It takes less than a minute to prepare.
  • It’s totally stealth. You can’t smell it, and you could eat it right in front of your parents (or your kids!) without them knowing.
  • It’s almost foolproof.
  • It’s made from freaking pizza, one of the four basic food groups, so it causes and cures the munchies simultaneously!

As I’ve taught my kids, there’s almost always a “catch” to everything and there’s one for this too. Pot Pizza just doesn’t work with weed right out of the bag, so to speak. You have to use AVB (and since I just realized I’ve actually somehow never written an article about the amazing stuff known as AVB, I just did!). But if you don’t have any, never fear because my AVB article even tells you how to make some (you do actually need some cannabis for this…).

Here’s how to do it and why it works. You’ll need:

  • 1/2 teaspoon of ABV (Already Been Vaped). If using decarbed weed, only use 1/4 teaspoon!
  • one slice of ABC pizza (Already Been Cooked)

See, pizza is cooked at 400°F or more, and that temperature is high enough to vaporize all the THC right there in your oven. On the other hand, raw cannabis doesn’t work well in your body because it has to be heated hot enough to decarboxylate first, but that takes a relatively long time.

So, by simply reheating some already-prepared pizza in your microwave, we’ll be able to use AVB (which has already been decarboxylated by virtue of your vaping it) at a high enough temperature (to mix it with the fat in the cheese) but a short enough time (to avoid vaporizing off any more cannabinoids).

How I Did It

Sprinkle your AVB on your slice as if it was oregano (in fact, feel free to add some oregano too). If you have pepperoni or other toppings on your pizza, pull them off temporarily, because you want the AVB directly contacting the cheese.

Now heat the slice in your microwave oven for about 20 seconds (for thin crust) or 30 seconds (for thick pizza, as shown in the photo). You want the cheese hot enough to just start melting (again as shown in the photo); if it isn’t, try bursts of 10 seconds until the cheese melts.

AVB On Pizza After Heating
AVB on Pizza After Heating

Now eat your pizza, and do something else for awhile. I’ve kept a log (below) of exactly what happened to me the first time I tried it, so you can see why it’s important to wait for at least two hours before you even think of trying another slice. In fact, in subsequent experiments I’ve even felt surges of highness up to four hours after eating Pot Pizza. I think it’s the cheese physically getting around the AVB goodness, and slowing down or causing “pockets” of digestion. And don’t forget, it’s an edible (duh!), which means the entire experience will last 4 to 6 hours or more.

Don’t mess with the actual dosage of weed on the pizza unless you really know what you’re doing, because (a) too much of this will taste bad (b) it’s easy to take way too much if you don’t measure carefully (c) this way nobody can get the “wrong” slice by mistake.

And yes…if you keep your AVB in a discreet little container, and measure it properly, you could just sprinkle it on a slice of hot pizza in a restaurant or pizza place. I mean, that will work, but if you get caught doing this in public, don’t tell the cops “Old Hippie said it was cool”, because that won’t work the way it used to :-)

What Happened

Ate pizza at 8:20 PM. A bit of a headache after about 45 minutes. The cheese will slow digestion so it may take longer to kick in than normal. My edibles/capsules generally take 45 minutes to an hour on a reasonably empty stomach.

9:35 PM: Getting seriously smashed [6 and rising], just started a few minutes ago. A very indica feeling Well WTF u think, it’s had all the THC removed. Headache gone, but head not staying upright :-)

11:00 PM: Second wind, just got 2 levels higher! Maybe from the pieces that were wrapped up in cheese, so took longer to digest. Whoo! Feels like a more “balanced” high than before…more like normal, but no sativa-type anxiety even though I am at least an [8] now.

3AM: Watched an old movie, plus new episode of Wilfred…twice! Still high as fuck, going to bed.

And I woke up high around 1 PM!

About Old Hippie

http://gplus.to/OldHippie Old Hippie is a father of two boys and thankfully living in California where all this kind of thing is legal. He started smoking marijuana in 1967 in high school, experimented with mind-expanding drugs of all kinds, and then straightened out 15 or so years later to become an airplane pilot. After being diagnosed with depression in 2000, he lost his job and most of the following decade to prescription medications (such as antidepressants) which sapped his energy and will. Finally, a chance conversation with a friend led to a doctor’s recommendation for medical marijuana (MMJ). This changed his entire life, health, and outlook for the better. BeyondChronic.com is his continuing story. It’s also his way to provide experienced advice on using medical marijuana effectively and responsibly, as well as advocacy, activism, and support for others. Old Hippie teaches about safe use of cannabis edibles, Canna Caps, vaporizers, dosing, and even microdosing.

31 comments

Funny, when I talk about grams someone always says “I don’t have a scale”, so I figured since we were talking about very light stuff (ABV is much lighted than regular weed anyway) and cooking, it made more sense to use volume expressed as teaspoons.

I don’t know if it’s equivalent, but I know some people have said they need at least 0.5 grams for edibles, so you could start with that and see how it goes.

this seems like a good idea, put is it 100% smell proof? my mom, being an experienced pot smoker, and edible maker, she knows the smell. i recently got a hold on some abv, and REALLY want to make this, but i will only make it if i know it wont smell.

It’s not being cooked, just heated, and the terpenes that make it smell have already been boiled off by vaporizing. Add some oregano and maybe crushed red peppers and even an old Italian pizza guy couldn’t tell!

ok thanks, i will try that today, i had pizza delivered last night, nice and oily, great for this type of thing. i appreciate your help, and ill let you know iif i got caught or not.

And one more thing. I saw somewhere that you can also use a cracker with cheddar cheese on top of that, would it be just as smell-less as the pizza?

I doubt it…pizza has loads of great-smelling ingredients. The cracker and cheese would probably work as well, but it’s still not as awesome as pizza is in general :-)

remember, popping ( or if it smells really bad, burning ) popcorn will cover up anything

ok, sorry for commenting so often, but i just made the pizza, it didn’t smell at all. ill get back to you on how i will feel within an hour, hopefully. my super-smelling stoner mom was right next to me and she didn’t smell a thing, thank you so much for the recipe, i look forward to making it again.

i’m trying this right now and will report back with some results. thank you very much for the idea!!

I have some heaviness behind my eyes so I think the rides about to start 😛

Hi man, yesterday i decided to do the pizzza with AVB of my MFLB, i eat my pizza but i dint feel high i just got a headache of 3 hours :$

I’d feel safer with one minute, as that temperature will really burn off your THC. You just want to get the cheese to start melting. A toaster oven might be easier to watch.

So just to be clear, you need to either pre-cook a pizza or order one and then infuse the THC into the cheese via the microwave? Just a little unclear on the method!

Yes, because the process of actually baking a pizza would burn off too much THC. All you want to do is get the cheese melty enough so the weed will get stuck in it. And remember, it has to be either AVB or decarbed bud, not fresh bud.

I put almost a whole tablespoon on a piece of ‘newly ovened’ pizza and after about 60-90 minutes I started getting high. It got me pretty baked, around 5-6 of 10. However it’s not a teaspoon as you recommended Old Hippie, perhaps you vaporized your herbs at a lower temperature and for shorter time. I vaped mine with a Volcano on the highest temperature setting (224 degrees Celsius) but not for a very long time, so it still had some green spots. Thanks for the tip anyway, much better than smoking it even if not as strong. :-)

do you recommend any specific kind of pizza? usually when i microwave thin crust pizza it mostly just gets oily on top. what is that in the picture?

That there in the picture is Felicity’s own home-made pizza, and it’s loaded with nice fatty cheese that’s helping your body absorb the cannabinoids. So the trick is to mix it in with the cheese. If you have wimpy amounts of cheese, like on typical thin crust pizza, either add more cheese yourself or just use a different kind of food with more fat. It’s not rocket science, feel free to experiment!

hi! i was wondering how long i should microwave my abv weed from a PAX for? also could this work with sprinkling the abv onto any “abc” cheese on any sort of bread/cracker?

There’s nothing special about ABV from a PAX over anything else. The only point of microwaving ABV in food is to get it embedded into the warm cheese, which helps when your body attempts to digest it. So, yes, pizza is not magic either, it just happens to have cheese, so enough ABV on cheese (and then on a cracker/bread so you don’t burn your hands) and warmed in the microwave should work fine.

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