Ask Old Hippie: Will Cranberry Juice Help You Pass A Drug Test?

Dear Old Hippie: I have heard that in many cases you can flush your system with cranberry juice. Is this true?

I am eligible for a medicinal marijuana card in Ontario, but before I had the diagnoses that helped me and made it so I was eligible, I consumed cannabis on occasion to deal with my massive PTSD and other emotional disorders, when I returned from an intense situation out of the country. Before that I had not smoked at all. With the added pressure from being arrested because of my breakdown, I found it was the best fix for my emotions. I was always wary that my newly restarted consumption after ten years of not smoking could get me in trouble. So for others in my situation, and for just my own personal knowledge, does cranberry juice help or do any of the alternatives sold online?

Dear CK: Well, I’m glad someone finally asked me this question, because there’s just so much BS floating around the Internet about this subject, and I’ve been looking for an excuse to put some good information out there. Drug testing is a $6 billion business in the United States alone, and it’s used as an excuse to keep a lot of productive, creative people out of the workforce or in jail.

The simple fact is that the basic urine test does not actually test for THC. What they actually look for are metabolites — substances created by the body after you ingest cannabis — and those metabolites are stored in your body fat for a relatively long time: a week or so for occasional users, up to a month for regular users, and anywhere up to three months for patients like me who take their medicine several times a day, especially in edible form.

So the first rule of understanding the urine test process is that time is your friend…the longer you can delay the test after your last toke, the more chance you’ll have of testing negative. So the obvious, first, and most important thing is to stop smoking or using cannabis in any way as soon as you find out you’ll have to take the test, until your test results come back negative.

Some people recommend “adulterants” such as bleach, eye drops, Mountain Dew (really!) or even commercial products on the theory that these will “clean” or “mask” the results somehow. This is merely wishful thinking. But now labs have begun to test for these things as well, so using them might actually make you look worse for attempting to beat the test willfully.

Now we’ll get into the deepest area of urban legend: the idea that some magic drink or pill will “flush” the metabolites out of your body. This belief has caused untold people to fail tests, but worse, caused them to go through some serious shit on the way, and in the case of the recently-popular colon cleansing products, I mean that literally.

There is absolutely nothing you can eat or drink that will, by itself, insure you pass a urine test while a detectable level of THC metabolites is still in your body. Period.

The good news is that it is possible to beat a urine test. If your marijuana use is rare or occasional, or if you’re near the middle to end of the detectable period for your level of use or you’re not a heavy user, you have an excellent chance with the dilution method, which I will describe in detail below. But first: substitution.

The Substitute Method

The only absolutely sure way to pass a urine test is to go in there with clean human (or synthetic urine, in most cases) at the correct temperature. Even this will not work for high-security or probation urine tests where they actually watch you pee, unless you come equipped with an insanely realistic ninja pee kit, and you better do a lot of practicing beforehand.

While I’ve been assured by an employee at a drug testing lab (who shall obviously remain nameless) that they don’t or can’t check whether the urine came from another individual of the same sex, they will detect prescription drugs used by that other person. If your friend doesn’t smoke weed and gives you her pee, she may be doing you a favor, but if she happens to legally be taking something they also test for (such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety pills), you’ll be expected to show them a similar prescription in your own name as well…and with the same dosage. So be sure to ask your friend about everything!

The thing about urine testing is they now look at the color, the temperature, and some of the basic physical characteristics (such as pH) to make sure it’s really urine they’re dealing with, and not Mountain Dew. So whatever you bring them has to be close. And pee goes bad, so you can’t keep it in the back of a drawer. You can keep it in the refrigerator up to a week, or freeze it for a year or perhaps longer, but you can’t keep it in little plastic baggies.

So here’s what you do. Go down to your local big pharmacy or supermarket and get some 2 ounce travel bottles, which people use to repackage liquids before getting on an airplane. It turns out that they allow 2 ounces of liquid on planes, and 2 ounces of urine happens to be the standard amount for drug tests as well. These containers should ideally have screw-on caps that can’t flip open, and flattish ones are better (you’ll see why soon).

Put the urine into the container. If you can get your friend to pee enough, you can fill up a few of these, so you can freeze them in advance (if the test is this week, don’t freeze it at all, just keep it in the refrigerator). When freezing these containers, you should leave the top open so there’s no pressure buildup, and obviously keep them upright and away from any food. Once they’re frozen solid, close the top and mark with the date and the word “pee” in big letters so you don’t make a terrible culinary mistake down the road.

When you know you’ll need it, simply put the container in the refrigerator at least 24 hours before the test to defrost. Before you leave your house to take the test (give yourself at least 45 minutes if possible), open or loosen the top to allow pressure to escape, and put the container in the microwave for 10 seconds, which gets it up to approximate temperature. Then close the top (rather important!) and carefully put it in your underwear (guys, you can’t wear boxers for this) tightly next to your body where it won’t show but it will pick up your body heat. Preferably in front, eh?

At the lab, they will make you empty your pockets, but they won’t be sticking their hands into your underwear, so when you go into the bathroom, empty the bottle as silently as possible into the cup (while making as much other masking noise as possible, like coughing), and then you must pee into the toilet audibly, because they will expect to hear these kinds of noises. Personally, I would pee a bit into the cup if I was using synthetic urine, because that might help stop them being able to detect the synthetic that way…and even with “dirty” urine, you’d only put maybe 1/4 ounce or so extra in, so it would be automatically diluted by 8 or 10 times. You’d have to be Snoop Lion to fail that one! :-)

The Dilution Method

The dilution method works on the principle that they’re looking for a specific level of metabolites in your urine, which is generally 50 ng./ml. If you can dilute your urine so the level is lower than that, you pass. Simple, but the labs figured that out long ago too, so now they check for too-dilute urine by looking at the color, and they also test for other stuff to attempt to make sure it’s real, undiluted urine. Drinking water will not “flush the THC out”, but it will dilute your urine. So after putting together every bit of up-to-date information I can find, here’s what I would do:

1. If you have at least 3 days before the test, exercise a lot each day (not so much that you invite heart attack or collapse…use your common sense here!), both cardio and muscle-type exercises. This will help your body burn off fat, which may have some stored THC or metabolites. But this will also recirculate those things into your bloodstream, which is why you should stop exercising 48 hours before the test.

2. Three days before the test, start eating red meat or taking creatine (available at places like GNC). This will build up the creatinine levels in your system, because they test for this substance (a metabolite of creatine, found in meat) to make sure your urine isn’t diluted. If you don’t take this step, you’re likely to fail the test right here, so if you don’t have time to prepare, your only safe hope is clean urine.

3. At the same time, you should start drinking a natural diuretic that will help toxins and other foreign substances move out of your body through urine…something like…cranberry juice! See, there’s always a hint of truth in every urban legend! Here’s where cranberry juice fits in, and it can really help, but you have to do the other stuff too. Other mild diuretic drinks will work too, like tea and apple cider vinegar.

4. The latest trick I’ve found is to take zinc sulfate (not any other kind of zinc) pills, which you should be able to find in health food stores or GNC. This not only helps block detection of THC, but also cocaine and methamphetamine, and the drug testing folks are pretty worried about it, so you know that’s a good thing. I would take one or two pills (usually around 200 mg. each) four to six hours before the expected time of the test, or the night before if the test is first thing in the morning.

5. The hardest part here is next. An hour or two before the test, take some B vitamins to color your urine (50 to 100 mg. of B2 or B12 or B-complex is generally recommended) and then start drinking water like crazy, a glass every 15 minutes or so. You should drink a total of about a quart of water. Please do not overdo this part, because you can actually die from water intoxication, though you’d have to drink a lot more than that (yes, that means that cannabis is actually safer than water). You should also urinate at least once during this time (whew!), because you should not give them the first urine sample of the day for testing.

6. When it comes time to give the sample, take it “midstream”, so to speak…first pee into the toilet, then into the jar. This will give you the best chance of the lowest concentration of metabolites.

Sometimes after all this preparation, your urine will still come off as too dilute, and they generally give you a second chance to take the test. Schedule that out as far as possible (tell them you have a prepaid vacation or something) and next time…don’t dilute quite so much and you should be fine. Good luck!

Here is Erowid’s master page on drug testing, if you have enough interest to get through it all.

Got a question for Old Hippie? Just post a comment below, or use the contact form.

Revision 1.1 – 20 March 2013

Why Smoke 468x60 Ask Old Hippie: Will Cranberry Juice Help You Pass A Drug Test?

http://gplus.to/OldHippie Old Hippie is a father of two boys and thankfully living in California where all this kind of thing is legal. He started smoking marijuana in 1967 in high school, experimented with mind-expanding drugs of all kinds, and then straightened out 15 or so years later to become an airplane pilot. After being diagnosed with depression in 2000, he lost his job and most of the following decade to prescription medications (such as antidepressants) which sapped his energy and will. Finally, a chance conversation with a friend led to a doctor’s recommendation for medical marijuana (MMJ). This changed his entire life, health, and outlook for the better. BeyondChronic.com is his continuing story. It’s also his way to provide experienced advice on using medical marijuana effectively and responsibly, as well as advocacy, activism, and support for others. Old Hippie teaches about safe use of cannabis edibles, Canna Caps, vaporizers, dosing, and even microdosing.

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125 Comments

  1. loveings11 said:

    ok so i dont smoke much at all i mean like once in a blue moon. but this weekend i smoked all weekend and now have to piss in a week or so. Now if i drink water and cranbarry juice and eat right for the week and than take a vitamen pill befor the test will this work for me to pass the test. I know i shouldnt of smoked in the fist place but i did and now im here askin how i can get clean for this test. please let me know the best thing to do asap

    • shankninja said:

      Just follow his advice and buy a test kit beforehand if you want to be sure it’s clean, or substitute

  2. Anonymous said:

    The erowid link in the zinc sulfate section says that zinc sulfate does NOT work, which is the opposite of what your article says.

  3. Anonymous said:

    I know that it’s impossible for you to tell me if I would pass a drug test or not, even if I laid out all the details for you, but I have a question for you:

    I have a urine test that has to be completed within four days at most. It’s been about a week now since I last smoked, and I am nowhere near a regular user. Over this last week I’ve been to the gym twice, where I’ve had rather strenuous workouts (I was unaware of the drug test until just about ten hours ago, so this was just something that happened). I’m still super worried about being able to pass the test, though. I know that the substitution method will work, because I can just get my sister to give me some of her urine, but I was curious if one of those home drug test kits that you can buy at places like Target are anything to go off of? Because I could easily pick up one of those and test myself. I can also get on the dilution method if needed. Or should I just go look for a travel container and go the sub method? I’m just super worried about the urine being the right temperature, because if I use a travel container I can’t use a hand warmer to make sure it stays warm…

    Anyway, thanks for your time, and I’ll hope to hear back from you soon!

  4. Anonymous said:

    i was a recent user until about 2 weeks ago. my intake was very low (a couple of small bonk hits each night for maybe 2 weeks).
    i have not smoked in at least 2 weeks and will likely be tested next week or the following.

    how do you think i’m looking?

      • Anonymous said:

        I have a probation test coming up in 12 days I last smoked last night. I shared 3 bowls with my friend and hit the bong once earlier that day. I was a frequent smoker until my Probo started almost 3 months ago but then I got clean. In the past 2 weeks I’ve smoked 4 times (2 hits usually). Keep in mind I was clean before deciding to do it again. I know it was a would decision on my part but I figured worst case senario I’d buy a kit at gnc and then test myself shortly before my actually test to ensure I pass. What can I do to make sure I will pass? I’m 120 lbs have a great metabolism and am startin ski practices this week which will get me sweating and exercising. Do the gnc detox kits actually work?

  5. aaron said:

    i did less than a gram of coke on saturday at midnight since the use ive drank 3 gallons of water ran 2 miles went to the gym for 2 hours on sunday and monday and drink 36 fluid oz of cranberry juice will i be good for tuesdays test at 11am

  6. Anonymous said:

    I was smoking atleast 3-4 joints a day for the past few years. I quit smoking about a week ago. Do you think I can use the dilute method or go with substitution? It’s a pre employment test, so they can’t sit there and watch me.

  7. Becka said:

    I’ve been clean 6 months from smoking but i just recently smoke on the 14th, i found out i have to do a UA in 2 days how do i clean out my system?

  8. max said:

    I am 6′ 0″ 140 pounds i smoked on thursday and barely friday i was using pretty regularly too, My school might drug test me on monday, it’ll probably be one of the home tests you buy from walgreens, is there anything i can do? please help!!

    • Old Hippie said:

      Home tests are easy to beat if they don’t watch you, just have a small container of water and dilute enough that it’s still yellow. Don’t try to use the sink because they’ll hear it.

  9. neicy said:

    I smoke everyday….I personally have to pass a UA,, you think I can do it?

  10. Jacob said:

    I have a drug test in about 9 days. I’m usually just a weekend smoker (usually 1 bowl a day on Fridays and Saturdays.) I last used on March 27th, 1 or 1.5 bowls. I’ve been exercising and drinking water and cranberry juice since the 28th. If I follow the dilution method you posted, should I be able to pass my drug test? Love your articles by the way.

  11. the man said:

    Ive been clean for 45 days and before that was smoking weed all day everyday for 10 years like 3gs a day I have a test coming up on the 13th of april will i pass?

      • the man said:

        So using ultra mask should work, it says for couple times a week users to quit 3 days before test, I quit 53 days before test I’m hoping this works!!!!

  12. WorriedGirl23 said:

    HELP!! I have read every Cannabis forum, every credible article, and asked every head I’ve ever met how to pass an upcoming, pre-employment UA. I must say, your article was MOST helpful but I would love to be more specific and ask you for some advice about myself for the most honest answers. I am a healthy, 23 year old female. I am around 5’2 115lbs. and I have been a regular user for several years since my last clean-up period. It is usually mid-grade bud or so but after visiting Colorado the beginning of this month I partook in some great bud and a few edibles. I plan on following every detail of your dilution method as I am wary of any substitutions (I don’t even know where I’d find a clean friend and warming synthetics are very tricky- too much for me!). I am drinking at least a half gallon of water everyday to continue the dilution process, as well as purchased a rather large detox from GNC (QCarbs something or another) to use the week of the test. Thursday I am having a foot-detox done at my local spa, and exercising everyday until the week of. I’ve quit smoking since I found out, almost a week ago. I also took a week “vacation” in order to buy myself some more time from now until the UA. So realistically I have about another week and a half, to two weeks until the test. With all of this information, do you have any other personal suggestions for me, or do you even foresee me passing altogether? Thank so much and wish me luck!

    • Old Hippie said:

      Regular users have the hardest time. My wife uses tiny doses like me and once tried a month off, and was still testing positive after that. So if you’re very active with low body fat you have a chance. Burning off the fat by safe but sustained exercise is your best shot right now, not wacky detox methods. The dilution in the last 24 hours is what will make the final difference. Good luck!

      • Anonymous said:

        You are awesome! Thanks so much for the timely response, I truly appreciate it! As you’d say, nugs and hugs!! Even though this is something we should NOT EVER have to worry about in this community, at least we have people like you to count on!

  13. M.b said:

    I hav e a test monday morning, and I’ve last smoke this wednesday. Should I try using your dilution method or this detox method: http://imgur.com/a/GmuD4 ?? I have creatine and vitmin B, so I can do any. Thanks

    • Old Hippie said:

      From what I can tell, the author of that article is actually doing essentially the same thing as my dilution method, except focusing on the drink itself and calling it “detox”. So best of luck whichever one you use!

      • Ash said:

        Hey I’ve got a test in a week and by that time I would have been clean 32 days. I’m 5’11 210 pounds, a bit chubby! But I go to the gym 3 days a week. Have been losing a bit of weight, eating right and drinking loads of water. Do you think this will be enough? I’m going to buy some home kit tests to make sure. I used to be a Heavy smoker but the past 2 years cut down to smoking once per week on the weekends.

        • Old Hippie said:

          My advice is work a bit harder now at the gym, but you have an excellent chance of passing especially if you dilute the last day. Good luck! Nugs and hugs!

  14. Anonymous said:

    I normally drink a large amount of water, 3 to 4 liters a day, do you think that would have an affect on the dilution method? Would I need to drink even more if I had a UA?

    • Old Hippie said:

      First of all, drinking that much water can be extremely dangerous. Please be careful!

      Secondly, your urine would already be well diluted from that level of water, so your main concerns would be the creatine and Vitamin B-complex to mask the dliution.

  15. Dro said:

    I ate brownies 2 days ago and I have a drug test in 4-5 day. Besides the brownies I are brownies the night before and haven’t done pot for 3 months before that. Should I go with dilution or substitution?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Hmm, that’s a tough one. Brownies are usually too strong and excess will definitely be stored in your body fat. If you’re on the skinnier side, you could exercise now and dilute; if this isn’t an observed test and it’s important enough you might want to substitute. Good luck either way!

      • Swamyy420 said:

        Dear old hippie , I am in a situation where I am going to be having a pre employer test either next week ( put my app in mon – wed ) and I have been clean 7 days now. I am 5’10-5’11 165-170 lbs , very good metabolism , very solid shape , ( been getting back into the grind of lifting everyday for the past 7 days as well ) been heavily drinking water , and have had cranberry juice as well I have been busting my ass trying to sweat and flush , but the test when I finally take it will undoubtly sent to a lab , I’ve read every article and feel as knowledgable as possible but still I psych myself out . I am an everyday toker when I have the $ lol but by the time of the test I’m guessing ill have 14-21 days which for me I feel I’d pass anything anytime , but the lab frightens me , I work at a shitty fast food job now and this job is like 5-6$ more on the hour and it’s my hometown so I have pull ( which Is why I know id get the job , and I’ve had this opp once and failed a test 6 months ago) so a lot is riding on this , that and new bills and such comming from a new move with my girlfriend so it’s UNREAL IMPORTANT I PASS . Again $ is tight so I can’t just go spend $ on masking , dilution , or anything other stuff really (might be able to get home test ) but I get a 5 panel isn’t shit compared to a lab 10 strip panel .. Do you have any ideas or tips , even know I’ve read everything you’ve said to others , maybe somethig directly to me will ease my mind some . I am very sorry I basically gave you life story but it’s hard to solve the equation without all the veraibles ( to quote tony stark aka Iron man in Avengers hehe) but anything back will be appriciated !

        • Old Hippie said:

          Dear Swamy,

          As far as I can tell you’re doing everything right. but I will tell you flat out that “everyday toking” makes it harder to clean yourself out. Even at our low levels of intake, the fact that we are constantly medicated means that it takes a full month to clear it out. The good news is that you’re leaner and more active, and that counts for quite a bit!

          Keep doing what you’re doing but remember not to exercise the last 2 days. You can probably borrow a few B-complex vitamins from a friend and ask around for some creatinine, or eat a lot of steak the last day. The extra effort you put into masking and dilution might be the difference between passing and failing, so please consider “investing” in your own future if this job is so important to you. Just don’t waste your precious money on “magic detox drinks”, because you’ll already be taking what’s in there now that you’ve read the article!

          Remember, it’s the system that’s really sick and broken, not you! And thanks for all the details, they did help me see the whole picture. Best of luck, and nugs and hugs!

  16. Anonymous said:

    Please reply with as much urgency as possible have been so paranoid,Thanks. I was recently placed on probation the 22 of april 2 days after 4 – 20 go figure right eh. I smoked about 5 grams of pot on 4-20, a regular smoker before this to note also being placed on probation the 22 they asked if i would pee dirty if tested today i said yes ive smoked within the past week and they didnt drug test me.

    Thinking to myself im likely to fail anyhow (stoner move) i smoked 1 bong hit on the 26th and one hit from a blunt on the 28th am being tested for the first time on may 22, a month later(about 23-24 days sober) any chance of passing this in your opinion note im 133 lbs male and have been drinking water daily, and exercised small amount’s.

    If you have any knowledge of people being on probation usually they say your aloud/can sometimes fail your first drug screen if this is true should i bring it to my po’s attention that im scared of being such a habitual/regular smoker that i still may fail ? Thank you for any knowledge provided on this note im also concerned with this mainly because i have a half a year suspended days in jail would they improvise for this to be served right away or give me a chance to clean out if you have any clue bro i really appreciate it.

    • Old Hippie said:

      Hmm, why don’t you start exercising a bit more, because that’s the only thing that will “sweat it out of you”….and you have to sweat to burn fat, and that fat has your THC in it! I think you have an excellent chance of passing if you work at it, as those two hits wouldn’t affect much. You’ll have a full month of practically not smoking and you still have two more weeks to burn it off. Just remember to stop exercising 48 hours before the test, drink a lot of water that morning, and take that B-complex vitamin stuff at the very least. Good luck and let us all know what happens!

      • anonymous :p said:

        Thanks for being so speady on the reply, Im considering the dilution method i just dont know if its worth risking the possible diluted/fail they could do being that it’s probation. Any idea if a daily vitamin that has niacin 20mg with b-6 6mg, b-12 100mcg not sure on the (mcg meaning) would compromise for the complex, am on the poorer end of lifestyles and with 330 bucks in court costs it would be even that much more of a pain :p

        • Old Hippie said:

          I came up with this idea before for someone: try a GNC store (or similar) and ask for samples of their B-complex and creatine supplements, since you only need a few pills anyway!

          • anonymous :p said:

            Thanks bro appreciate the help here Going to go in hoping for the best since its my first test i think ill just have to tell her ive smoked for alongg time wouldnt be lieng before being clean was like 2-3 years smoking almost everyday so i mean it may take alot of time for my levels to drop i hope she doesnt just violate for me pissing dirty there ill have to hope for the best i think if i dilute itd be worse im not really sure on this one. If you have any idea let me know what you think on that one Thanks again.

          • anonymous :p said:

            Wasn’t even tested shall never know hahaha next one ill for sure be clean thanks for the info tho man take care

  17. anonymous :p said:

    also i would like to note that i have no idea if they use cup drug tests or lab ik labs can pick up on the creatine and color also idkk if dilution would be smart since i could possibly pass thanks alot if you have the time please respond with as much info as poss bro.

  18. Maria said:

    i am not a regular smoker it like when ever i get around it i have smoked like 5 times in the past 2 yrs and i smoked tuesday the 20th for its the first time for this month and i have a job interview next tuesday on the 27 at 10:00am in a hospital i am not sure if i will get tested after the intrview or not but if i was are there any chances of me passing since i am not a regular smoke at all? i do go to the gym everyday and am like 150lbs i could get tested a week later or so after the interview if not in the interview please help thanks!

      • anon said:

        Dear Old Hippie,

        Im on the hunt for work as my GAD (general anxiety disorder) grows worse and i need money for all the great medical payments. I’ve been clean for about 2 weeks so far (not a lot I know) and was wondering whats the chances of masking my urine would be.

        Ive been drinking nothing but juice and water these past weeks due to dehydration, along with changing my diet from the regular unhealthy junk food to about a healthy meal or two a day, ranging from meats, fish, and bread.

        I weigh about 110 lbs, 5’5″, and have been sweating a lot of the thc out (you could just smell it). Im a frequent smoker, from .5 to 2gs a day, normally with a group of 4 or 5, including myself.

        I hate to go without it, seeing how much it helped many of my medical conditions while ive been clean these 2 weeks, and would like to know the soonest time i can start masking it successfully. I hate to sound like a fiend:(

        Sincerely, a scared smoker

        • Old Hippie said:

          I know the feeling and it sucks! Just remember, you’re not a stereotypical loser stoner, you’re a medical patient and there is nothing to feel “guilty” about!

          I suspect that when you no longer smell it or feel it after working out, you’re almost there. Remember, many Dollar Stores carry THC tests and those are perfect for seeing if you’ll pass with or without dilution. Glad to hear you’re working on your dehydration and eating better. I’m going to guess another week or less based on the sound of your efforts, which I can almost hear from here :-) Once you’ve gotten it out of your body, just dilute if necessary before the test. Best of luck!

  19. Anonymous said:

    I have a pre-employment test and I haven’t smoked in about 5 days, I used to be a regular user but I slowed down a bit I have a high metabolism and I haven’t done anything but drink water and cranberry juice all day since the test is tomorrow, should I exercise, or what else can I do seeing as though I can’t afford to eat red meat right now or possibly take the zinc tablets?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Well, see if you can get some of those creatine pills as samples if you can’t make it down to McDonalds or whatever. Still don’t know if the zinc works, but the other stuff is pretty solid. Good luck!

      • Stephen Hide said:

        Hello Old Hippie! Big fan. i got put on probation on the 19th of May, and my test is tomorrow at 11:30am. My PO knows that i am a chronic user and that this is going to be my first drug test. She said that as long as the levels are coming down that i won’t have to worry about violating. My stupid self smoked a couple bowls on the 27th of May and have been clean since. I’ve been a chronic smoker for the last 9 years, smoking at least 5-7 times a day. the last time i smoked was a week ago. I haven’t really been working out but I’ve drinking lots of water in the last week. I also bought teavana monkey picked oolong & white tea (silver zhen pearls) herbal detox kits and have been drinking a couple tall glasses since yesterday. I also drank half a regular sized cranberry juice bottle yesterday. I just bought a CVS home test and failed :/ I’m slowly realizing that dilution might be my only option. Also you said not to work out the last 2 days before the test, which i haven’t, but today i put on as many clothes as possible to sweat, as i drank a decent amount of water. my water is currently a bit diluted. please reply ASAP! I am very paranoid at this point. The only upside is that i only have 4-6% body fat. I also hangout w Lucy 2 days ago starting at noon. Am I screwed?

        • Old Hippie said:

          Well, you’re kind of doing things backwards. Sweating is what you don’t want to do now because you’re forcing the THC out of your fat cells by burning them off (whether by exercise or by sweating from heat is immaterial). And drinking water and cranberry juice is fine, but that’s what you want to do the last day, not last week. Lucy will not be a factor, but you might want to slow down a bit on all this stuff if you’re on probation, because even your nice PO will get P.O.’ed if you don’t take the hints and slack she’s giving you.

          TL,DR: dilute tomorrow, don’t forget the B-complex and creatine, and don’t fuck yourself over, man.

          • mike said:

            Hi Hippie, would love to hear your expertise on my current situation.

            I’m a daily user from 2-3 blunts or my PAX for the past 2-3 years. I stopped smoking 2 weeks ago. Trying to get clean for possible drug testing as I’m applying for new jobs. I purchased a take home thc test and failed just now. The thing is the red line was clearly visible. Not barely visible but bright red. I’m about 6′ and 148 lbs. Pretty good metabolism as I can’t put on good weight or keep it. I didn’t really work out except 1 time I ran about a mile. Diet was pretty normal but I did eat junk food pizza and home made burgers.
            My question is the way I failed the test. It came out clearly positive. Not even a hint that I would pass. The line was bright red. Not obscured or barely visible but bright red. So I’m here 2 weeks to the day no smoking and if it was so blatantly red n clearly positive how much longer would it take at this point? Thanks

          • Old Hippie said:

            Dear Mike,

            In our experience, daily users will generally test positive for at least a month, so this is to be expected. If you can do any kind of regular exercise now, it will help you burn off some of the THC-laden fat and speed up the process. Hopefully then in 2 weeks you can test yourself again with better results. Nugs and hugs!

  20. mike said:

    Ok thanks for the quick reply! In my teenager years I was able to pass a drug test for work in 2 weeks but I actuality tried and drank water and exercised daily. I’m 30 now and I didn’t try this time because I’m just trying to get clean in case I get this job that will most likely requirea drug test. I was just worried how much longer it might take since the line was bright clear red. Thanks!
    Nugs n hugs n nugs!

  21. mike said:

    Hey hippie one more question. What about fasting? Does fasting help get thc out of the body?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Good question. I guess if you were burning fat this way it would help, but exercise is probably much more efficient.

  22. Dallas said:

    Hey hippie really need your opinion here. I smoked a few times at the beginning of last month. Then I smoked Pinner around the 15th of last month. I didn’t smoke any more until the 3rd And fourth. It was equivalent of a regular sized joint. I got a employment drug screen coming up through a temp service. My experience with temps are they have a 5 panel drug testing kit. I weigh 270 pounds and I am six foot 2 inches. I bought a 3 liter of cranberry juice with less than 1% of sugar. I plan in fasting because I don’t have any foods that you suggested and I’ve read other places. I also plan to drink coffee, vinegar like a shot 2 times a day, and the juice. Not to dilute per say but to use as derelicts to help me urinate more frequently. I also take a blood pressure pill with a water pill combo. The day of I can shut down my kidneys with vinegar like 2 fl. Oz. Per 50 pounds and I can use the excuse that I’m on water pill combo for my hypertension which causes me to urinate frequently. What are my chances by your experience and is this a good plan. I can probably put the interview and drug screen off until Thursday or Friday. Please get back with me. I really need your input.

    • Old Hippie said:

      Hard to say because it’s a complicated plan but I think you have a good chance with so little usage. Best of luck!

      • Dallas said:

        Thank you for the quick response. Is there anything else I can do to help out or anything I can change. Any suggestions, any at all. Still nervous know what I mean. Hindsight is 20/20.

        • Old Hippie said:

          I don’t hear you talking about exercising, I have no idea where you got the idea that vinegar will shut your kidneys down, and it doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything near what I discussed in detail, so that’s why I wished you luck.

  23. Joe said:

    I smoked a blunt about 3 weeks ago and I did about a gram of cocaine last Saturday and I have been drinking lots of water and urinary tract pills and cranberry pills I have to take a 5 panel drug screen on this Friday the 25 of July do you think from your experiences that I will pass I am not a regular marijuana smoker but I do snort about a gram every weekend so what do you think.

  24. Midnight said:

    Thanks! I have a couple of questions on the dilution… I heard a sauna works well and a long, hot bath (although this could be dangerous!) to accelerate sweating. Your thoughts? Also, I didn’t see anything in your article or in the comments about using a large amount (8-10) of antacids about 2hrs before test to add the necessary weight back into the urine. Is this an outdated measure?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Saunas will make you sweat all right, and you will lose weight, but I don’t think it’s the same thing in terms of actually causing your body to “burn off fat” the way exercise does. If I wanted to pass a urine test, I’d be out there exercising, not sitting in a box hoping it will work.

      Also, I didn’t see anything in your article or in the comments about using a large amount (8-10) of antacids about 2hrs before test to add the necessary weight back into the urine. Is this an outdated measure?

      I suppose, since I’ve never heard of it, even 40 years ago. And I don’t think anyone “weighs urine” for these tests.

      • Midnight said:

        Hmm, I think any test that is sent out to a lab is still testing “specific gravity” (normal values are 1.005 to 1.025). One reason most people have gotten caught with “watered down” urine has been directly related to the weight. While the red meat will add some, it is usually not enough.
        I agree about the sauna. I guess I meant in addition to sweating through exercise. :-)

        Happy hittin’ !

        • Old Hippie said:

          Ah, that’s what you meant. Sorry, I didn’t understand when you said “weight”. Thanks for your input, and good luck!

  25. Charlie Green Leaf said:

    This article has been one of the most comprehensive insightful guides to beating the broken system of corruption and medical hegemony this society has over people that take natural healthy recreational drugs. This article was extremely helpful dude, quick question, before 2014, I had been toking every week for the last couple years, I had not smoked at all this year up until 12 days ago when friends of mine and I smoked on several occasions. I have been doing aerobic exercise and calisthenics almost everyday since then, how diligently do you think I should be applying the dilution method and what are my chances??

    • Old Hippie said:

      First, thank you for those kind words, greatly appreciated!

      My off-the-cuff guess without knowing your body type or any other info is that if you don’t take your test until the end of next week, you might just be fine on your own. But a little dilution never hurts :-) See if you can pick up a THC tester or three at a Dollar Store if you’re wondering. Good luck, and nugs and hugs!

  26. Charlie Green Leaf said:

    Appreciate it Hippie, I guess I forgot to tell you the specifics, I am 5’11 and 175 lbs, and my test is tomorrow at 11:00 am. I have stopped working out and started drinking a lot of cranberry juice and had red meat last night, what are my odds of beating this test? Once again, thank you for all your help.

      • Charlie Green Leaf said:

        I know this reply is super late but I passed my exam! I appreciate all the help hippie, keep toking on that Dagobah green Master Kenobi, may the grass be with you.

          • Robert said:

            hello I’ve been clean for 7-8 weeks and I have a drug tesr Friday for a job. I’m an 18 YO male, 5’6″ and 125lbs with a high metabolism, and fairly active (my current job has me moving for about 10 hours a day). what do you think my chances are of passing if I dilute the day of the test?

          • Old Hippie said:

            8 weeks? You should already be fine unless you were smoking 4 times a day for months…And probably even then. Nugs and hugs!

  27. Robert said:

    Ok thanks a lot, been reading a lot of different websites with many varying answers but I figured I would be good I’m just really worried about it, I was smoking maybe a gram or 2 a week out of a bong. I will let everyone know how the results go. it’s a messed up world we live in when we can’t smoke some weed weeks on end for a drug test but someone who does crack a week before would be fine -_-

  28. b said:

    Dear Old Hippie,

    You surely do have the best advice of all. Thank you for it! Like everyone else, I’m in a panic. I smoke here and there (I smoke to run long distance as it helps me enjoy my exercise more). I cleaned myself up for a job that I wanted (it took 13 days) and passed a take home test but then never got the job. So, I smoked a bowl three days in a row, had a few bong hits with friends over the weekend. I last smoked a small bowl on Monday night before my run. I got a job offer on Tuesday. I was just told that I’ll have the test tomorrow (Friday morning). Gasp! Please tell me that I have a chance! Thank you so much!

    • Old Hippie said:

      Unfortunately, as you probably know, that’s not an ideal situation, but if you can sneak a little water in with you, you might be able to dilute the sample. Good luck!

      • b said:

        Well, I tested myself yesterday at home after pretending to be a camel for a day and still couldn’t get a negative so I’m going to try some advice from a friend: I got my hands on some surgical gloves (sterile, no powder, no latex, etc.), had my partner pee for me, am going to heat it up slightly above 100 degress (to account for cooling), tie it up tightly like a balloon and with a string, and put it in my special lady parts..(sorry if that’s TMI), slip a razor blade into my hidden pants pocket, then pull it out, cut it open and do my thing and pray to the gods that this works! I’ll let you know if I passed!

  29. Anonymous said:

    My friend took a preemployment Urine test and it came back diluted after her drank A LOT of water. He has to take another test in the morning, He usually smoked 1-2 j’s a day and he has not smoked in 11 days. He is six foot 200lbs. He wants to ensure he passes in the morning. What do you suggest?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Prayer?

      Seriously, that’s a tough situation because they’re already on the lookout for him messing with the test. He has a chance of passing on his own, but at this point I wouldn’t try anything.

  30. Wes said:

    Still testing positive for THC after 62 days of being totally clean of everything, piss testing tomorrow with very little internal dilution……its not out of your system for a very very very long time.

  31. Anonymous said:

    Dear Old Hippie,

    Thanks for the tips!

    Hoping you can help me:
    I smoked one hit each on 9/12, 9/14, 9/27, and 10/5. I have a urine test coming up on 10/16. I’m a very occasional user (and light at that, about a hit each time). It will be 11 days since I smoked prior to the test. I’ve been doing cardio for about 45 mins each day, eating fruits, veggies, eggs, quinoa, etc. for the past week. I’ve been drinking about 130 oz. of water each day as well as a Bentonite drink mixture with cranberry juice. I’ve also been drinking 32 oz. of gatorade each day and about 2-3 cups of coffee. I’m about 5’8″ and weigh about 165 lbs. I’ve also been taking a multivitamin and a B-complex everyday.

    Thank you!

  32. Anonymous said:

    Hey I toked up on Thursday and Friday, 4 hits thursday and 2 hits on Friday. Prior to that was Saturday/Sunday I smoked half a joint each day. Small size. I am very small just barely in the normal BMI range. I have to drop on Wednesday. I am running 10 miles tonight and eating small portions of my spagetti dinner every few hours to keep metabolism up. I am also using apple cider vinegar. Should I live or shall I become another statistic

  33. Donny said:

    Hey my friend. I am suffering from depression and PTSD that are service connected. I hate my meds and decided to try my luck with something natural. I had a few hits off a joint on oct. 6th and oct. 8, and then again on the 16th… last Thursday. Ive been clean of my favorite mistress Mary Jane since late last year before the 6th. I was contacted on Friday (oct. 17th) and told that I had a Urinalysis on Monday. From Friday to late sunday evening, I started drinking large quantities of water, Cranberry Juice, and Creatine Shakes. I also worked out pretty moderately on Saturday night. I also came up with the Idea of mixing the Creatine shakes with Cranberry juice and a lil water. To add some color to my urine I drank a few energy drinks which had a high consentration of Vitamin B in the them to give my peewee some color. I decided to go in to wiz late that afternoon on Monday around three. (just about three days down to the hour). Since then Ive been stressing pretty bad and I wont know anything for a few days. Im 6’1 193 pounds very low body fat and a very high metabolism. The weed I smoked was average maybe mid to pretty good grade stuff. Whats your thoughts?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Well, it sounds like you did everything humanly possible and your history and build gave you great odds in the first place…so I hope you can stop worrying now!

  34. Ry crossed fingers said:

    Hello, I’m trying your dilution method. I smoked about a 1/4 gram a day (sometimes more) for years. I stopped for about 10 days then had a hit last Saturday. I piss on Monday. What are my chances? Also you say to take 50-100mg of vitamin B but all I can find are bottles with 1000mcg doses. Do I eat 50-100 pills before I go piss?

    • Old Hippie said:

      Your chances are kind of 50/50 because you smoked for so long and it’s really in your body. You’d probably need 45 days to get it all out, but dilution should help. And the pills you are looking at are probably B-12, you need B-complex and only about 5 of them, not a whole bottle!

  35. jose rodas said:

    hello old hippie
    i’m a chronic stoner i was smoked 12 joint in a day for 8 years , i have 30 day without thc i need pass a orine test in 8 days how can i do? i’m drink many water 1/2 liter each 2 hours, i practice exercise 3 times for week,i talked with my doctor he recomend furosemide is a diuretic used for the sportsmen to mask drugs, what do you recommend for my case i’m 158lbs 171cms
    many thanks for your time

    • Old Hippie said:

      I think you’re on the right track, just make sure you take the B complex and the creatinine during the last 24 hours. Good luck!

  36. princess P said:

    Hey Old Hippie,

    Ive been clean for over a year and a half, I took a few pulls on 10/7, 10/8, 10/9 and two on 10/10….. My job sent me for a random (I have NEVER been sent for one in the 3.5 years ive worked there) on 10/23 I am 5’8 and 277 lbs. While on vacation the week I smoked I was involved in some pretty high intensity physical activity in the hot sun. I have been drinking water and cranberry juice (from concentrate) regularly. When I tested my urine was a regular yellow…not as clear as I would hope. I also took a few niacin pills on 10/15 and 10/16….The suspense is killing me, what are the odds of me passing realistically?

  37. princess P said:

    Thanks, After the random I tested myself when I got home to see if I should quit before the results come back….On the home test I passed but the line was kind of faint…it was also my last pee of the day and it was a lighter yellow than the sample my job took. Im just freaking out because Idk if my earlier pee was more concentrated than the later pee…. the wait sucks :(

  38. WendyBri said:

    Dear Hippie,

    I’m trying to get a great job and I have a drug test, sometime in the next 2 weeks (3+ if I can extend it?) I would guess. I smoke almost an 1/8th every day and have for about 3 years+?… am I just completely screwed with the detox method, even if I totally stopped smoking today? Just found out about it today. I don’t like the idea of cheating a test, so if I could at all pass myself I’d like to try… but if I’m screwed and gonna have to go with the substitute pee anyway then I might as well keep smokin’! Also, they really wouldn’t watch or anything for a test like that right?

    I am not very athletic but I have practically 0% body fat, seriously. I’m 5″7 and about 110lbs, female, if it matters? Anyway, let me know what you think!

    • Old Hippie said:

      I think you are being…optimistic if you think you have 0% body fat, first of all. But smoking 1/8 daily for 3 years puts you squarely in the “ain’t gonna pass for 90 days” category, even if you’re anorexic. Sorry about that! You will have to “cheat”. But remember, they are cheating you by treating you like a criminal in the first place!

  39. Guillaum said:

    Dear Old Hippie,

    Thanks for all of your input. I don’t know if you are getting tired of answering the same questions over and over again. You are very patient. We thank you. Here is my dilemma. I live in Oregon. I was a chronic smoker for about 5 years. I got a DUII earlier this year. My alcohol level was slightly above what is legal but I have to stay clear of all drugs and alcohol. I tested positive for THC in my first couple of UAs as expected. Finally my pee came back clean. I was doing good for about 2 months…no weed, no alcohol. But dumb me I smoked a few hits 2 week-ends ago and again last week-end (Friday and Saturday), about a gram. I have since done a cleanse. Have been taking Cranberry pills, liver cleanse pills & drinking lots of water. I have bought the home self-test kits and have tested negative but I am extremely paranoid. My urine is a faint yellow……. I was supposed to take UA test today but called and said I couldn’t make it because I was sick, (Which I am really not lying because I am coming down with a cold or something). I am 5’7, 135 lbs. and am an avid runner and go to the gym regularly. But I am so scared. What do you think my chances are? And do you recommend I do anything else?

    Thank you kindly.

    Guillaum

    • Old Hippie said:

      Even without the test results, I’d give you excellent chances. But if your home tests are negative, and Oregon uses the same standard (50 ng/ml) as most states, you should definitely be good. But please don’t drive while impaired! What I tell my kids…drive like your life depends on it…because it does!

      Nugs and hugs!

      • Guillaume said:

        Thank you Old Hippie.

        No I will not drive while impaired. I’ve learned my lesson. This was definitely a stupid choice on my part and one that I will never repeat. It’s been a headache dealing with it.

        Thanks again.

        Peace and love!

        G

  40. Cookie said:

    Dealing with a difficult situation. Unemployed single female 54 year old light, but daily, pot smoker for many years. I was offered the best job of my life two weeks ago and had been working on the job for two days and out of the blue was asked to go take a drug test. I had no idea that was coming. I had stopped smoking at that point for three weeks because I had been looking for a job and suspected I might get asked for a drug test. I was in a trap at this point. I am 5’6″ tall and 225 lbs so I was almost certain I was not going to pass that test and I didn’t. It was taken at 2 pm in the afternoon and I had drunken water and several glasses of tea and stopped on the way and chugged a Gatorade on the way to the test. But of course none of that worked. Now here is the crazy part. The employer still wants me to work for them. And told me to go home and take as much time as I need to pass the test. They asked me to retake the test when I think I can pass and to hurry back to work. I am at the thirty day mark now and told them I had been smoking for years and I had no idea how long it would take me to pass a test given the fact I had a very fluffy body. I hate to say I am fat because most people would not believe I weigh as much as I do. Most of my weight is in all the right places. I am very active lady. Ran the push mower around my lake yesterday for two hours. I have a cheap home drug test and plan to test myself in a few days but can not afford to keep buying them to just find out I still have THC in my fat cells. Can you please give me any advice on anything else I can try. I am drinking a healthy amount of water everyday. Eating healthy as I can on my limited lack of income. At this point I am going to have to give up my only thing I enjoy doing, I do not drink, I do not fool with dangerous drugs, I do not smoke horrible cigarettes, and actually getting really depressed about how unfair this has all turned out. But what I am simply asking you is your expert advice is there a way you can think of that might help me pass this drug test with out cheating. I do not feel that it is in my best interest at this point to do anything but the right thing. Unless you can help me make some sense of this whole mess and see it differently.

    • Old Hippie said:

      Dear Cookie,

      Wow, if anyone understands that situation it is us…and I also applaud your intention to “do the right thing”! However if you remember from the article, the water is not going to help now, only exercise and time will. People with a long history of daily usage take a long time to get it out of their system, period. I think you will have to wait at least 45 days from your last toke to even think about “peeing clean”; I’ve heard of 60 days in some cases. Try to find THC tests at a Dollar Store so you can afford it, and don’t go for your job test until you come out clean on a home test. And even then, it’s wise to dilute for the test, but at least then you’ll have a good chance at passing.

      Remember, you’re really doing nothing wrong, it’s the drug testing industry that is evil. They have bribed legislators and paid for propaganda for their own nefarious purposes to fool Americans into thinking that it’s okay for people to expose their most intimate and personal fluids to the scorn, derision, and judgement of others. Drug testing for jobs is illegal in most countries (based on human rights…remember when we had those?), so don’t let yourself be fooled! Clearly your boss is the kind of saint that recognizes a good person and is compassionate enough to give you time. Good luck and don’t smoke again until the results are back in writing!

  41. Anonymous said:

    Hi, I was drunk and took a hit of weed maybe it was weed or not. I was dancing with this one chick that was smoking it and had exchanged smoking from mouth to mouth from her. I don’t think I inhale it. I accidentally took one hit from what she was smoking. Three days later we had a piss test and now it’s been a month and I don’t know if I piss hot or not. I’m in the army and I don’t really know how they do with the piss test result.

  42. Anonymous said:

    I got a job offer today and they told me I had to be drug tested.(was unaware of this policy or would have stopped sooner!) I just smoked a bit 24 hours ago. My level of smoking is minimal, but at least a couple times a week. The $20 bag I bought has lasted me a little over 2 weeks, to give you some idea. I will have to take the test on the 4th day of being clean from smoking. If I follow the ideas above, any thoughts on my chances of passing? I am tempted to turn down the offer, even though it is my dream job, as opposed to failing.
    Thanks!

    • Old Hippie said:

      OK, you’re smoking every day, but only tiny amounts. So you definitely have a chance. So exercise, stop, and dilute, and now you have an even better chance.

      Plenty of people have told me how they passed even though they were sure they wouldn’t. Turn down for what? Don’t give up on your dream job unless you are forced to!

      Nugs and hugs and best of luck!

  43. Anonymous said:

    I have smoked 4-5 times a day for the past 15 years. I am 6′, 210 lbs, mild chubbiness. This is a legal situation in the state of Indiana, and my lawyer did an extremely poor job of preparing me for the possibilities of having to be screened. I stopped 28 days ago, at the first indication I would be tested. Stupidly in an emotional state, I smoked a small bowl 21 days ago. In all likelihood I will be tested in 25 days. I have been diluting for the past 5 days attempting to producing a negative test at home – which has failed. Given this is a legal situation and substitution is not possible, what is my best option to beat a urine screen?

    • Anonymous said:

      And to add more detail, I am 35 years old and I was smoking a half gram per day of high grade (a quarter each two weeks). I have been vigorously exercising during that dilution period, which I now understand can increase the THC metabolites which may also be causing the problem. I am experiencing high levels of dreaming while asleep which I understand is part of the withdrawal process. Failing this screen will lead to loss of drivers license, loss of employment. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I had always “assumed” all I needed was 30 days, but am mortified to learn that some people still pee positive after 90 days when heavy users. Trying not to freak out here.

      • Old Hippie said:

        OK…I’ve read everything you wrote, but I’m not sure you read everything I wrote! You have to exercise consistently during the period before the test if you expect to rid your body of metabolites. And you must stop exercising 48 hours before the test. And you dilute at the end, not now.

        And that is the only way you have a chance to pass this thing, because you are frankly in the worst possible position of (a) long-term heavy user (b) smoking high quality stuff (c) probably higher body fat than average. But be prepared, because you have less than 30 days and I’d prefer 60 in your case. And yes, it can take 90 days for someone in your position if they do nothing. So keep exercising and good luck!

        • Anonymous said:

          Thank you for the prompt reply. I assure you, I’ve read everything you’ve wrote. And multiple times. The dilution now was more to ease my mind than anything. I will keep up the exercise until the prescribed date and dilute properly as you’ve mentioned in the final 48 hours. I will be 45 days clean as of test date, not 60 unfortunately. Will charcoal pills, a high dose of aspirin the morning of, or green tea consumption in the 25 days I have left be of any use in your experience?

          • Old Hippie said:

            Charcoal is used to induce vomiting in high doses or absorb bad stuff from the stomach contents in lower doses, so no.
            Aspirin? Never heard of that one. A high dose of aspirin might give you serious stomach bleeding though. Who gives advice like this?!?!?
            Green tea? Well, it’s probably a mild diuretic, so again this would be useful at the end.

            On the other stuff…OK, I think I understand now. I don’t often hear back from people, but I hope you let us know how it went. If you do pass, I will be quite happy indeed. And now that I hear you have 45 days clean and 3 weeks of exercise, I think you have a better chance than I thought an hour ago.

  44. Al said:

    Im planning on using my 7 year old sons urine. Can the lab distinguish this or any possibilities?

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